George reluctantly went up to the physical education teacher and handed him the doctor's note. He had broken his collarbone and couldn't participate in physical education for six weeks. The coach nodded and motioned George toward the bench—a place where George was used to sitting. George supposed it didn't really matter. He wasn't any good at sports anyway.
Not like his twin brother, Mark. Mark was always the athletic star—the fastest runner, the best hitter in baseball, the great goalie in soccer—everyone's hero. In fact, by foolishly tackling Mark and bringing Mark's full weight down on his neck and back, George had snapped his collarbone.
Why do I even try to compete with him? George wondered. It's hopeless.
Still, he liked sports and, like most boys, wanted to be good at them. Life was so unfair.
He complained to his mother: "How come Mark's so good at everything?"
"He doesn't have a broken collarbone," his mother said.
"Even when I don't have a broken collarbone, I'm not as good at sports as he is."
"He has his gift, and you have yours, that's all."
His parents always said that every child had a special gift—one thing that he or she was especially good at. The problem was, George didn't seem to be especially good at anything. George was beginning to think he didn't have any gift at all—or if he did, he would never find it.
One day, sitting down on the bench as usual during gym class, George saw his coach approach him. "George," said the coach. "The home for handicapped children across the street asked us if some students could volunteer there as part of a service project. They don't have enough staff, so they just want kids to come over and play a little with the handicapped kids and keep an eye on them. Our principal agreed to try to find some students to do that. If you'd be interested, the principal said you could do that instead of coming to gym class for the next six weeks."
There was a burst of joyful shouting on the basketball court. Mark had just made a fantastic three-pointer.
Sick with jealousy, George said, "Sure. I'd like to do that." Anything to get away from watching Mark.
At first, he was a little nervous in the home for handicapped children. He didn't know what to expect. One little girl in a fluffy dress that made her look like a little piece of cake came up to him. She was using a walker. She couldn't stand up by herself.
She said to him, "My name is Nanette."
George's heart went out to her. Then he met Miguel, who couldn't speak, and who crawled around on bent knees so much that his pants legs were worn out. George had to admire the spirit in a boy who, if he couldn't walk, would crawl. Then there was Lucy, whose mouth was twisted by a birth defect. She was always covering her lip with her hand to hide it.
Lucy asked George if he had broken his arm.
"No," he told her. "I have to wear this sling to hold my collarbone in place so the bones fuse together again. I broke my collarbone." He indicated his neck.
"Oh," she said, and she seemed to feel so sorry for him, George's heart melted. After all, his collarbone would heal. Her mouth wasn't ever going to be normal.
After a while, Lucy got so used to George's kindness, she never covered her mouth when she was around him. Nanette always swung her walker over to play near him, and Miguel would crawl all the way across the home to greet George when he came. They climbed all over him, sometimes jiggling his collarbone—that hurt!—but he didn't really mind.
It didn't take long before George found himself thinking about them during class and looking at the clock to see when gym hour was coming, so he could be with them. He just wanted to help them and make them happy. Even after his collarbone healed, he kept going to see them, after school now instead of during gym.
At the end-of-the-year assembly, when all the awards and certificates and honors were handed out, George was astonished to hear his name called. He walked up on to the stage and stood with Mr. Loggin, the principal, wondering why on earth he was up there.
"We want to recognize George on behalf of the Home for Handicapped Children. They have given him their Volunteer of the Year award. George's compassion for the children in the home has made him everyone's friend there. The staff say they don't know how they got along there without him, and all the children love him very much. George has made us all very proud!"
He was handed a framed certificate and told to face the audience to be applauded and photographed. The applause and cheering were thunderous.
Making his way back to his seat where his parents were clapping and beaming, George felt like he was floating. Sitting down next to Mark, George felt a big smile slide across his face. He had found his gift.
Comments
Compassion is becoming aware of the needs of others and trying to do something to help them. It means understanding what another person is feeling. It is almost like being able to climb inside the person’s head and heart. It involves connecting and relating to what the person needs and being able to supply it with a kind heart.
It is easy to be completely involved in one’s own situation and the challenges that arise each day. Growing up means moving from thinking only about oneself to thinking more about others and having compassion for them.
Compassion for others is something that helps us in relating to friends and family. Sometimes it is easier to notice what someone else has (something we want) than to notice what he or she needs (something we could give). Compassion helps us focus on supplying the needs and wants of others, so it helps us build better relationships. Rather than being envious of what other people have, when we are compassionate, we are in a position of giving, which enriches us all.
Compassion is also an antidote to anger. When we are angry at a friend or family member, if we can find a way to think of them compassionately, our anger melts away.
At times, we think of others as mirrors for our own reflection, and we want to be flattered by them. A good mental image to replace the mirror is to think of looking at others through a window, one that lets us see inside people for who they are and what they feel. The shift from looking at a mirror (at ourselves) to looking through the window (at someone else) involves a big shift in perspective. But it is one that brings the rewards of joy and happiness, and it is a mark of maturity.
There is a saying that to really understand someone, we have to “walk a mile in his moccasins.” This means that we have to understand the person's situation, stand in his or her shoes, and see things through his or her eyes. Without trying to do this, we cannot connect to people's hearts and feel compassion.
Having compassion for someone is not the same as pitying or feeling sorry for him or her. When you pity another person, you look down on him or her. You think, “How awful” or “What a terrible situation that person is in” or even “Thank goodness, I’m not in that situation”. Pity separates you from someone else, while compassion brings you together. Compassion thinks, "How would I feel in that situation, and how would I want to be treated?"
Compassion is often born out of a person's own suffering. The compassionate person—like George—understands the other person's suffering because of his or her own suffering. Compassion sees that we are all in this life together, all human, and all in need of one another's concern and care.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is George's gift?
2. What does it mean to have compassion for someone?
3. Do you think George had compassion for the children for whom he cared in the story?
4. What is the difference between being compassionate and pitying someone?
5. What does it mean “to walk a mile in someone’s moccasins"?
6. Does every person need the compassion of others at times?
7. Do you believe that every person has at least one special gift?
8. What is your special gift?
Exercise: "Developing Compassion"
Allow your teacher to lead the class in role-playing about showing compassion in the following situations:
There is a new student in your school who looks and speaks differently from everyone else. He looks awkward and lonely.
A friend’s father has just passed away.
Your younger brother/sister has confessed to borrowing something that belonged to you, and it is now broken. He/she is crying and very sorry.
You are invited to a party, and one of your best friends wasn’t invited.
Your elderly neighbor’s husband passed away. She has been like a grandmother to you. Each day, you see her sitting alone on her porch.
You see a young child crying in a store/market. He is lost.
Using posters, photos, or pictures (from magazines and newspapers), look at the faces of people and discuss or write about what each person might be feeling. Begin with descriptive words (i.e., worried, excited, confused) and then expand on the possible reason for this feeling.
Reflection Exercise: "When I Showed Compassion"
Think of a time in your life when you showed compassion toward someone. Who was it, why did you feel compassion for him or her, what did you do to help him or her, and how did you feel afterward?
Not like his twin brother, Mark. Mark was always the athletic star—the fastest runner, the best hitter in baseball, the great goalie in soccer—everyone's hero. In fact, by foolishly tackling Mark and bringing Mark's full weight down on his neck and back, George had snapped his collarbone.
Why do I even try to compete with him? George wondered. It's hopeless.
Still, he liked sports and, like most boys, wanted to be good at them. Life was so unfair.
He complained to his mother: "How come Mark's so good at everything?"
"He doesn't have a broken collarbone," his mother said.
"Even when I don't have a broken collarbone, I'm not as good at sports as he is."
"He has his gift, and you have yours, that's all."
His parents always said that every child had a special gift—one thing that he or she was especially good at. The problem was, George didn't seem to be especially good at anything. George was beginning to think he didn't have any gift at all—or if he did, he would never find it.
One day, sitting down on the bench as usual during gym class, George saw his coach approach him. "George," said the coach. "The home for handicapped children across the street asked us if some students could volunteer there as part of a service project. They don't have enough staff, so they just want kids to come over and play a little with the handicapped kids and keep an eye on them. Our principal agreed to try to find some students to do that. If you'd be interested, the principal said you could do that instead of coming to gym class for the next six weeks."
There was a burst of joyful shouting on the basketball court. Mark had just made a fantastic three-pointer.
Sick with jealousy, George said, "Sure. I'd like to do that." Anything to get away from watching Mark.
At first, he was a little nervous in the home for handicapped children. He didn't know what to expect. One little girl in a fluffy dress that made her look like a little piece of cake came up to him. She was using a walker. She couldn't stand up by herself.
She said to him, "My name is Nanette."
George's heart went out to her. Then he met Miguel, who couldn't speak, and who crawled around on bent knees so much that his pants legs were worn out. George had to admire the spirit in a boy who, if he couldn't walk, would crawl. Then there was Lucy, whose mouth was twisted by a birth defect. She was always covering her lip with her hand to hide it.
Lucy asked George if he had broken his arm.
"No," he told her. "I have to wear this sling to hold my collarbone in place so the bones fuse together again. I broke my collarbone." He indicated his neck.
"Oh," she said, and she seemed to feel so sorry for him, George's heart melted. After all, his collarbone would heal. Her mouth wasn't ever going to be normal.
After a while, Lucy got so used to George's kindness, she never covered her mouth when she was around him. Nanette always swung her walker over to play near him, and Miguel would crawl all the way across the home to greet George when he came. They climbed all over him, sometimes jiggling his collarbone—that hurt!—but he didn't really mind.
It didn't take long before George found himself thinking about them during class and looking at the clock to see when gym hour was coming, so he could be with them. He just wanted to help them and make them happy. Even after his collarbone healed, he kept going to see them, after school now instead of during gym.
At the end-of-the-year assembly, when all the awards and certificates and honors were handed out, George was astonished to hear his name called. He walked up on to the stage and stood with Mr. Loggin, the principal, wondering why on earth he was up there.
"We want to recognize George on behalf of the Home for Handicapped Children. They have given him their Volunteer of the Year award. George's compassion for the children in the home has made him everyone's friend there. The staff say they don't know how they got along there without him, and all the children love him very much. George has made us all very proud!"
He was handed a framed certificate and told to face the audience to be applauded and photographed. The applause and cheering were thunderous.
Making his way back to his seat where his parents were clapping and beaming, George felt like he was floating. Sitting down next to Mark, George felt a big smile slide across his face. He had found his gift.
Comments
Compassion is becoming aware of the needs of others and trying to do something to help them. It means understanding what another person is feeling. It is almost like being able to climb inside the person’s head and heart. It involves connecting and relating to what the person needs and being able to supply it with a kind heart.
It is easy to be completely involved in one’s own situation and the challenges that arise each day. Growing up means moving from thinking only about oneself to thinking more about others and having compassion for them.
Compassion for others is something that helps us in relating to friends and family. Sometimes it is easier to notice what someone else has (something we want) than to notice what he or she needs (something we could give). Compassion helps us focus on supplying the needs and wants of others, so it helps us build better relationships. Rather than being envious of what other people have, when we are compassionate, we are in a position of giving, which enriches us all.
Compassion is also an antidote to anger. When we are angry at a friend or family member, if we can find a way to think of them compassionately, our anger melts away.
At times, we think of others as mirrors for our own reflection, and we want to be flattered by them. A good mental image to replace the mirror is to think of looking at others through a window, one that lets us see inside people for who they are and what they feel. The shift from looking at a mirror (at ourselves) to looking through the window (at someone else) involves a big shift in perspective. But it is one that brings the rewards of joy and happiness, and it is a mark of maturity.
There is a saying that to really understand someone, we have to “walk a mile in his moccasins.” This means that we have to understand the person's situation, stand in his or her shoes, and see things through his or her eyes. Without trying to do this, we cannot connect to people's hearts and feel compassion.
Having compassion for someone is not the same as pitying or feeling sorry for him or her. When you pity another person, you look down on him or her. You think, “How awful” or “What a terrible situation that person is in” or even “Thank goodness, I’m not in that situation”. Pity separates you from someone else, while compassion brings you together. Compassion thinks, "How would I feel in that situation, and how would I want to be treated?"
Compassion is often born out of a person's own suffering. The compassionate person—like George—understands the other person's suffering because of his or her own suffering. Compassion sees that we are all in this life together, all human, and all in need of one another's concern and care.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is George's gift?
2. What does it mean to have compassion for someone?
3. Do you think George had compassion for the children for whom he cared in the story?
4. What is the difference between being compassionate and pitying someone?
5. What does it mean “to walk a mile in someone’s moccasins"?
6. Does every person need the compassion of others at times?
7. Do you believe that every person has at least one special gift?
8. What is your special gift?
Exercise: "Developing Compassion"
Allow your teacher to lead the class in role-playing about showing compassion in the following situations:
Using posters, photos, or pictures (from magazines and newspapers), look at the faces of people and discuss or write about what each person might be feeling. Begin with descriptive words (i.e., worried, excited, confused) and then expand on the possible reason for this feeling.
Reflection Exercise: "When I Showed Compassion"
Think of a time in your life when you showed compassion toward someone. Who was it, why did you feel compassion for him or her, what did you do to help him or her, and how did you feel afterward?